Stating The Oblivious
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So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.
Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.
I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.
Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.
Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet
This is like a Scooby Doo bit I love it
(via captaincosima)
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(via leftpawedpolarbear)
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i was looking at old photos and i wanted to show you how our story went, a little
bronwyn and i met at age 12 but i dont have any photos from then, really, but this is from grade 9 science class when we were being goofs and i was 13
this is from our first ever sleepover, we couldn’t stop laughing and we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor and we went to boston pizza and got plastic rings that we both still have (bronwyn kept hers on a necklace after that)
i went to bronwyn’s cottage for the first time in the summer after grade 9
we had our first kiss in grade 10 when i was 14 and were in a weird kind of dating limbo period
then i moved to the states and turned 15 and told bronwyn i was in love with her and we visited every chance we could and she sent me flowers and packages
then i went to junior prom with her and bronwyn cut her hair
then we had the most beautiful summer where i spent 5 weeks at her cottage and i cut my hair
then i went back to miami for 12th grade and turned 16 and bronwyn was 17 and we went to senior prom together
then i moved back to canada for university when i was turning 17 and we finally lived in the same place again and we loved each other so much and got breakfast together every day
then after a beautiful summer we started living together when i was 18 and bronwyn was 19 and we went to bahrain together and bronwyn dyed her hair brown and now i get to see her every morning and every night and we adventure in our city and have a coffee shop and love each other more than i could have thought. there were periods of scary intense darkness but we love each other so much and i’ve never been happier. i’ve known bronwyn since i was 12 and now i’m almost 19 and i love her more and more.
i’m never on here anymore, but i wanted to share that almost a month ago bronwyn and i got engaged!! under a beautiful tree on a perfect day and for the rest of my life i get to pursue her and care for her and make her laugh. i’ve said this so many times but now more than ever: if this is all i get, it’s so much more than i could have hoped for.
This makes me so happy
(via rose-tylers)
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okay but waking up in the middle of the night to soft rain and knowing you’ve still got hours to sleep, when you’re toasty warm and comfortable & sleep has made you forget all your worries and responsibilities and u go back to sleep feeling as content as ever
(via you-are-crazy-beautiful)
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im in a really bad media diversity class where the professor was trying to make a point to us about stereotypes so he was like “when you think of frankenstein you probably think of a big green monster right?” and then when everyone in class was immediately like “no it’s the scientist” he pretended he didn’t hear us
Millennial culture is knowing Frankenstein is the scientist.
Woke Millennial Culture is, however, ALSO knowing Frankenstein was the monster.
oh SHIT
(via glittertimes)
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The cruelest thing this season has done is force the Doctor to do nothing in the face of atrocities. To stay in her seat while a woman is discriminated against. To walk away while a good man is murdered. To preserve history at the expense of humanity.
(via toodrunktofindaurl)
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(via captaincosima)
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Workers, when have you said “fuck this, I quit”?
I used to work at McDonalds (I know). Opening usually involved me at the front counter with a headset on so I could do drive-through orders and handle making coffee / putting orders together / taking money at the front from the little old people that came in at the crack of dawn every morning. We would also have a manager who was there to be important and one person in the kitchen. We’re a small rural town so usually this is fine but we were on kind of a major highway so sometimes it would get busy out of nowhere.
Depending on the manager the amount of help we had would vary wildly. One morning we got super busy and I started cracking under the pressure. I’m a fantastic multi-tasker but my drive-through line was backing up since I was trying to juggle them and all the walk-in folks from my front registers and when it gets packed…well, it’s fun. I glance around trying to find my manager for help. I see him on one of our cameras – he’s outside smoking a cigarette around the side of the building. Mind you, this is like his third trip out to smoke this morning. I’m absolutely dying trying to get caught up. Customers are being passive aggressive saying they will come behind the counter and get their own coffee and stuff. I have people yelling at me in my headset from the drive through. I end up having to remove the headset just to try to get the frontline sorted. I start making progress with the front but I basically had to sacrifice the drive-through customers for two minutes.
Apparently the cars outside start yelling at my manager and interrupt his smoke break so he comes in, sees me with my headset off and goes berserk. He’s like “WHOS TAKING THE DRIVE-THRU ORDERS?” I’m in the middle of trying to get a fresh pot of coffee going so I sort of auto-respond “No one. Hang on.” as I continue to dash around behind our counter to grab a fruit & yogurt parfait for an order. He basically gets in my way and starts giving me shit. Loudly, talking to me like I’m a dog. I point to the camera and yell, loudly enough to disrupt the entire inside of the restaurant. “I’m these two registers, first window, second window, and I’m bagging. I’m like FOUR PEOPLE and you’re out behind the building not doing SHIT!”
His eyes go wide. I can tell he knows I’m holding on by my last thread. He’s sighs. And he’s like “You’re in a ton of trouble but we can talk about this later.” No. Fuck him. I’m done. I’m all riled up from random customers yelling at me. I toss him the headset. “You want to give me shit for not being able to run like four stations with no support? Run five. I’ll watch.” I remove my name badge.
He went to say something to me. I turn away, facing the one girl working in the kitchen who is watching this all play out. I remember telling her “I’m so sorry.” and then I dropped my name badge, toss my hat on the counter, grab a water cup, put on (and zip) my jacket so my uniform is covered up. I go to the drink fountain, fill my water cup, and then I go sit on the far side of the seating area and watch him go down in flames. He ends up ALSO taking off the headset and picking up the phone so he can spam call the whole workforce one by one trying to call for help. It’s like 5AM so no one is going to accept a call from their work number. About ten minutes into his struggle he ends up very loudly pleading with me to come back from behind the counter. I can’t even see him on the other side of the sea of people swarming the counter at this point.
I call back “I need a smoke first!” and I go outside.
I don’t smoke. I’ve never smoked. I drive home.
He ended up losing his job.
(via cassiebones)
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Viking traveler’s amulet, based on the Lillbjärs picture stone. The back reads: “Unharmed Go Forth, Unharmed Return, Unharmed Back Home”, Frigga’s blessing to Odin, possibly from Vafþrúðnismál.
How does this have almost 10,000 notes ?
Because the world is full of trouble and every little bit of help counts.
(via branstarkslunchbox)
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@stregafiore @braincooksidea“penguin was just a small, wobbly headed magpie chick when my son, noah, found her lying injured on the grass after being blown out of her nest. she was very lucky to survive such a horrendous fall but without immediate care would have died within a day.
“we built her a simple nest and kept her warm with a tiny blanket. noah immediately named her penguin, due to her black and white plumage. it is not easy to look after any injured wild creature [so] we undertook a great deal of research about magpies and were extremely grateful for all the specialist veterinary advice we received, especially in regard to penguin’s diet.
“while getting penguin to eat was a real victory, her recovery remained touch and go. but over time she grew in both stature and confidence.
“as penguin’s strength grew so did her curiosity. we never locked her inside any kind of cage so she was always free to venture outside the house. it didn’t take long before she started to forage for her own food in the backyard and it was clear she was becoming increasingly independent.
“despite being free to leave she still chose to sleep inside the house for at least six months. fortunately there is a large frangipani tree in our yard that penguin always felt comfortable in, so that became her home. however if we ever leave a window open she’ll fly inside the house at sunrise and scamper down the hallway to one of the bedrooms and jump into bed.
“australian magpies are known for their beautiful songs and penguin began singing short songs during the day from a very early age and would eventually sing for hours and hours at a time. whenever we’d pull up in the driveway she’d let out a loud and melodic warble to welcome us home then flap her wings with excitement and run straight to the front door to be let inside.
“while she will always be a part of our family penguin does not belong to us. the world is hers to explore and she regularly travels elsewhere, sometimes for days at a time. we won’t see her for a while and then, without warning, she confidently walks in the door as if nothing has changed.” (source, edited for length)
OH
What a good birb!
😢😢😢😢😢
(via branstarkslunchbox)
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Four years, 527 countries, 25 million dead. Soldiers and civilians. Innocent people. Women and children slaughtered. Their homes and their villages looted and burned.
(via rose-tylers)
